Mixed Up?

This is a story of love, not just any simple love, it was a fight. A fight that battles for each day's survival. As far as many love encounters, this one may be the most difficult to move his eyes off this attractive women. She may not be attractive or beautiful, but to his eyes, it's like finding a diamond in coals. She is beautiful and dazzling in her own ways.

It may sound so beautiful, but beautiful can be thorny. He knew that the one he fallen to was an unrequited love, he knows it too well but he risk the chances, just to capture the hearts of the women. It was a very lenient journey, but one can't stop his adamant for love.

Time goes by, he encounters so much trial, a difficult trial to boot in. Everything was over, for the women, she squeeze her eyes out and was defenseless. He knows she needs help, a help that needs a long term assist. She needs someone to ease her, and he was there to comfort her.

With such tragedy ended, another rises. He became self conscious about her, and he wasn't thinking right, stressed out. "I see, I don't stand a chance when I'm like this..." he nodded and sat quietly.

"I want her to notice me, even just a little..."
"There's always a chance, there should be.."
"I'm giving up.. but I can't, she'll be all alone.."
"I have to do whatever I can for her, even if it means lying my health for her!"
"I can't just watch.. I must be beside her, always! Even if it means unrequited"

Voice echoing in his head, he was at verge of letting go, moving on and protecting her. He thought he was unstoppable, heart breaking was a time healer for him but he didn't expect that it broke countless times that right now, it became dust. He felt empty inside, so empty, even the slightest touch could easily break him a part, but he has a shell that could cover up.

He never knew he was lost till he look at the mirror, "So this is what I've been doing all this time", he smiled and fall a part in seconds. He felt despair, agony, misery, everything. He knew it wasn't her fault to begin with, he was consumed by love, and was destroy from within.

Holding his limit for days, months and years, he finally burst out his pain, it's releasing a malevolence in him. He confessed that he wants tk move on, even it hurts him so much. She acknowledged and felt relieved cause he has been following her shadow for years, a love that she can't accept.

Thus, he finally release his pain and sorrow. He wants to be free and possibly of finding new love. He knows if he let go, that's the end of it. He has to eat and swallow the truth, cause the only way for him to grow and learn.

Even if he did, his heart speaks to him, "No matter how much you let go, she'll still be inside you no matter what, you still love her, not loved." And in hopes him always walking behind her shadow, she'll be the one walking his shadow and he'll turn around, "I'm here for you, now and always", he dares to dream, but he dares not to wish.

-Fz.